Dear Diary,
Today has been an interesting day! It's been a week since I ran out on Lara. She called me once to chat, but I couldn't quite forget the way she glared at me, so the conversation fell a little flat.
I have been picking away at my big old alchemy book, and making slow progress. Today I finally went across town to a shop that specializes in alchemy and elixirs, and I came home with two newer books and a few odds and ends.
They sell elixirs there, too, but unfortunately they didn't have anything potent enough to cure me. The guy behind the counter told me it's difficult to create, and ends up costing a lot of simoleons.
I did blow a little cash on a procreation elixir, though. I saw it sitting there and thought it could be my reward for when I'm finally human again, and ready to start my own family. I want twin girls, just like next door has.
I was pleased to discover I'm already at an intermediate level of alchemy. It feels so slow going sometimes, I didn't even recognize my own progress! I was feeling so cheered up, I decided to call up my neighbour Goodwin. After falling out with Lara, I craved the safeness of his less magnetic attraction.
The flirting began immediately. He came to my place, claiming he needed to get away from Sinbad, his roommate. I loved his simplicity, he wanted all the same things I did. Romance, family, faithfulness. I felt a little weird about how open things with Lara were left, but I decided not to worry. We spent one night together, no promises were made. Why shouldn't I flirt with Goodwin?
After our last meeting, I expected stealing a kiss from him to be easy. I found myself pouring on compliments, hints, and even giving him a massage without a single opportunity for a kiss arising.
It must be that old fashioned romantic streak, I told myself. He probably doesn't want to kiss me unless he knows we're more than just neighbours.
As I suspected, the minute I suggested we could begin seeing each other, he was ready to move to the next level. Goodwin, I have to say, is an excellent kisser. Maybe that's what made me so reckless?
We ended up in my creaky old bed, without any, uhm... protection, in sight. Goodwin fell fast asleep after, and when I awoke the next morning he was downstairs eating cereal in front of the TV. I don't know where he got it, since I only drink plasma juice, but I was happy to see him sitting there.
I joined him, we kissed, and the cycle started all over again. I decided I needed a shower, and the trouble maker followed me right in!
I'm pretty sure being dead means I can't get pregnant though... I hope. It's honestly one of those things I never thought to research in advance! I'm not going to dwell on it. It's nice with Goodwin, things feel safe. Being with Lara was like standing on the edge of an emotional cliff, exhilarating and terrifying at the same time. I hope that, getting to know Goodwin, I might fall for him eventually.
I mean, I'm already so fond... and we both want the exact same things in life. Maybe it's for the best?
He went off to work and I got back to my alchemy. The elixirs I'm learning about are becoming more potent and important every day!
Dear Diary,
I can't believe what's happened! I feel like it's all my fault, but I don't know how I could have changed it..
The worst part is, I feel relieved. I guess I should start where I left off two weeks ago.
Goodwin is impossible to pin down. He's never home, always out working or with friends. Avoiding Sinbad, pretty much. We spent a little time together, though, getting to know one another more. I began to get comfortable with him.
That's when \I heard from Lara again. She called me up out of the blue, all friendliness and laughter. Seeing her name on my call display got the butterflies going in my stomach in seconds. She called to invite me to a party at her house, "way better than that snore-fest we met at!" she promised. She told me she felt bad about snapping at me, and was certain that's why I hadn't wanted to "hang out" with her again.
I felt all the anxiety from three weeks ago melt away, and told her I'd be there at 9pm sharp. I didn't want to tell her about Goodwin on the phone... I'd try to bring it up in person. At least at a party, lots of people would be around and it would feel much less awkward than telling her one-on-one.
So I found myself outside her house that night, wearing the only fancy dress I own. She wanted everyone in formal attire, just for fun.
Lara was excited, the house was already filling up and the music was blasting. She greeted me with a big smile, and ran off to use the bathroom. She looked beautiful, her hair up in a cute little bun and a turquoise dress flattering her skin tone. I watched her go, feeling conflicted. That's when I saw Goodwin coming towards me, and he did NOT look happy. My mouth dropped open in shock. How did Goodwin know Lara? Why hadn't I suspected, in such a small town, that they might know each other somehow?
"Harriet! How could you?!" he hissed at me. "I can't believe you have something going on with Lara! You're a cheater!"
I gasped, and anger flooded me.
"Really, Goodwin? A cheater? We've only been dating for TWO WEEKS, and I never made any promises to Lara. We weren't even a couple, we just.. had a connection!" Even as I spoke, I saw him rolling his eyes at me.
"I don't think you understand what a relationship MEANS, Harriet. I need to know that if we're together, I'm the only one in your heart. I mean, Lara's a woman! How do I trust you if you're sleeping with women, too?"
That was the last straw. I liked Goodwin, before, but now I didn't even want to look at him.
"Well, Goodwin, maybe you would have been the only one for me, if we had a chance. I'm not sleeping with women. I slept with ONE woman, before you and I got together. It's totally irrelevant, now. You and I are through."
Goodwin stalked off into the kitchen and I sighed, looking around. Nobody seemed to notice the drama unfolding, thankfully. But maybe it was time for me to go.
No comments:
Post a Comment